When Senior Care Goes Wrong: How Clara Could Have Been Saved

One of my favorite times in my consulting and coaching is when a light bulb goes off and the person I'm working with has an 'ah ha!' moment and spots a new opportunity.

"I just never expected this," she exclaimed. "I can't do this anymore. I need to get Dad into a nursing home and he has $50,000 left. What do I do?", she pleaded. I explained to her that once his money was spent down he could qualify for Medicaid, but she and Joe would need to return the $150,000. But here was the problem. Jane and Joe had already spent the money and, therefore, couldn't return it. "Well", I told her, "When Dad's remaining $50,000 is spent down he still won't be Medicaid eligible for another 4 years. That's because the Medicaid penalty doesn't start until he has less than $2000 to his name and he needs nursing home care.

Most people head into those retirement years as healthy vigorous seniors. Then, at some point, our immortality catches up with us and the term "rest in peace" more aptly fits. It's the period in between those two that we may witness the greatest changes in ourselves. As our body or mind starts to not cooperate, our ability to carry out the daily functions of life decreases.

I knew Dr. Butler professionally and worked with him as a consultant to The National Caucus and Center on Black Aged. He was a much respected and even revered member of the Board of Directors. His fellow directors realized that they, along with so many other elder services, might not even exist without his pioneering work on aging.

It depends upon your financial situation and knowledge of this complicated area of law. It is critical that you protect your assets for your spouse if he or she will not be in the nursing home or for your children and their inheritance. An experience elder law attorney can help you through this entire process.

All these factors lead to elder abuse in nursing homes. It has been estimated that as many as one out of six people in a nursing home has had some instance of elder abuse. That can be anything from verbal to physical intimidation, withholding of medication, and many other subtle ways that our elders can be abused.

If your parents are still well enough to decide for themselves, you should ask them if they would still want to continue living in their home. As you factor in their concerns, consider what you have seen in the house so far. Ask them too about how they feel with the thought of hiring a caregiver to look after them.

They act as a question across the decades for all of us: what passion have you been holding off to the side? And how might you bring it to the forefront in your work and life?